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A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.
"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."Tags: humour
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About a week ago I wrote about how I had relaxed my behavioural expectations of my 2 year-old son, and how that had brought about a positive shift in my relationship with him. I wasn't yelling at him anymore for doing bad things, and I was re-evaluating what was really all that bad about what he was doing, anyway. He still has his "moments" -- several of them every day, in fact -- but I haven't been reacting to them in the angry way that I was becoming accustomed to. I just try to pick him up, or crouch down to his level, and give him a hug and ask him how I can help. About half the time, if I stop whatever else I'm doing and concentrate carefully on what he's trying so hard to say, then I can figure out what he really wants and just give it to him. It's infinitely more gratifying for me to bring him pleasure or to help him feel better or to resolve a problem than it is to try to ignore him or delay him or push him off for another two minutes so that I can finish washing that pot in the sink. Who the hell cares about that pot anyway? Why not bend down and embrace the child instead? I also just can't help but love this boy. I love him terribly just because he's my son, of course, and I can recall the true love that blossomed between him and me when he was only a few months old. But he's also so incredibly beautiful and full of expressive affection himself, it's impossible not to fall in love with him every day. What I meant by "the switch" was that it was a week ago that I made a simple but conscious decision to change the way I was thinking about my boy when I was getting mad at him. I just chose to think about it differently. And it suddenly changed the way I behaved around him and the rest of the family. His behaviour and that of some others in the family also seemed to improve simultaneously. I wanted to make note that I've kept up that practice this week too, and I'm sticking by it because it's working. And it's also much easier than I thought it would be to change the way I think about things, even things that used to bother me a lot. Tags: personal
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I'm not usually slow to anger over a number of things that my kids do. The triggers usually involve not listening to my instructions; doing something I’ve already clearly forbidden them to do (important things like not climbing onto the stove while I’m cooking, for example); or they might be making a mess (seemingly for its own sake). Depending on my mood and the amount of sleep I got the night before, my reaction to behaviour like this can be swift and not infrequently fierce. There’s quite a temper that lurks there, beneath. (I bet I could mitigate that with more strenuous physical exercise...) I’ve noticed, however, that these angry reactions of mine appear to be brought on not by the behaviour itself of the kids, but rather by my own dashed expectations at that moment. When I round the corner to find Max squirting extra-moisturizing hand cream all over the coffee table, I think to myself, “Dammit! Why does he have to make such a mess all the time? And why doesn’t he listen when I tell him not to do that?!” And then I get mad, sometimes right at him with a raised voice, snatching away the lotion and yanking him away from the coffee table, telling him for the umpteenth time not to play with Mama’s lotion. (Or make-up, or jewelry, or her purse, or her freshly-folded laundry...) Of course, the reason for my anger is that I keep expecting him to behave better than he’s actually capable of behaving. And when he repeatedly demonstrates for me that my expectations of him are too high for his tender age of 2, I remain angrily ignorant of this fact and keep getting mad at him for not listening to me. It’s a terrible, vicious circle that can only be broken by one person: the parent. I took some stock of the things that drive me the most crazy about his behaviour. It sounds silly, but mostly it involved making messes. I realized that these events could mostly be avoided if I simply gave him more of my direct attention -- especially when he’s in the kitchen with me. He loves to help out and get involved and act like a grown-up, so if I could slow down some of my mundane kitchen tasks, I might be able to get him involved in some of those tasks instead of him trying to climb up the pantry shelves like a ladder. Maybe I could even teach him how to load the dishwasher! I also gave some serious thought to how important it is for me not to have messes made in the house. Why is it that I’m holding myself to such high standards of cleanliness when I have two boys under 2 years old running around? Is it realistic or even sane to expect that I’ll be able to keep our house completely clean in that situation? And is it really such a big deal if someone dumps their milk onto the floor? It’s not that hard to clean up. And spilled milk comes with the territory anyway, doesn’t it? (Along with broken plates, hurled toys, and overflowing diapers removed by himself and carried dripping across the living room floor to proudly show you that he pooped?) I’ve been experimenting with this for about a week, and I’ve noticed a bunch of things right off the bat. My mood in the mornings has drastically improved. It’s not perfect, but it’s much, much better. And I immediately noticed that I often have more patience for him when he does something bad. Furthermore, I’ve realized that these expectations I’ve been holding are just thoughts, and I can change my thoughts with a simple flick of a switch. Everyone can. I simply choose to think about something different, or I make a conscious choice to frame a certain experience in a more positive light instead. And it’s remarkable how much less stressful it is to get through your day like that. Suddenly, barely anything drives you crazy anymore. Hopefully this isn’t just some sort of psychological calm before the storm or something, and that I’m not just pushing off some emotional tornado that will unleash itself in another week. This feels pretty natural though, and it has had immediate, positive effects on the rest of my family. Ironically, I’ve found that everyone’s behaviour around me improved when I improved my own. Tags: personal
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Weird. I've read that LJ has laid off several staffers and that it's going through hard times, and a bunch of people are nervously trying to download or back up their journals. Only thing is, most of the protocols don't appear to be working all that smoothly, and none of them are easy on a Mac. I don't even have a PC anymore -- or at least, I do, but it's mothballed in my furnace room. I just scanned quickly through some old entries to see what I have here, and I realized that you know what? I don't think I'd miss any of these entries if the whole thing went up in smoke. I used to have quite a strong attachment to the words I wrote in here, but I'm not so sure I'd be that broken up about it if they were all deleted. I would, however, miss the connections with all the people on here that I've made. Although in that respect too, most of the friends I made earlier in my LJ times (2000-2003 was when I was the most active, I think) are either gone from LJ or have drastically decreased their participation such as I have. Could anyone who's reading this post who knows me or feels a connection to me from the past please comment here and/or send me an e-mail (iamom at livejournal dot com) with your contact info? I'd love to stay in touch after the fact, and God knows what's really going to happen to this fantastic forum. In the meantime, if I have time and the inclination, I'll try to download my journal for posterity's sake. 1,628 journal entries dating back to June, 2000. Wow. This could be the end of an era. Thanks... Dustin Tags: lj
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A year ago, my wife and I were expecting our third child, and I was having mild panic attacks about it. I had been in the mindset that when our second child, who was around a year old at that time, would reach 18 months of age, I'd put him in daycare part-time and then officially get my freelance writing and journalism career off the ground. Instead, we discovered we were pregnant again and I had begun to worry that I'd never make it back to normal adult professional life. Since then, our little Cohen was born, and it's no understatement to say that he has changed my life. I haven't sorted out all of my foibles yet (at the tender age of 35, it would be unreasonable to expect that anyway), but his arrival has heralded quite a surprising amount of peace in my life. Since he was born in February, I've been able to lose a tremendous amount of my anger, anxiety and frustration about my life. My everyday mood has improved and I've developed a tremendous appreciation for our children that I didn't really have before. In short, I'm happy with where I am and what I'm doing, and I'm happy to wait until late next year when Cohen is of daycare age in order to get this professional writing career off the ground. The truth is, I find it to be so rewarding to be with children this young, that I no longer feel that selfish pull towards a "real job" until the timing is better. These times will be over so fast, I don't want to look back on them with regret that I didn't spend enough time with the kids at this age. I'm also feeling a very strong pull towards some kind of community service. I've volunteered sporadically at my daughter's school, made donations to a local community association that works with disadvantaged families, and also bought Christmas presents + the makings for Christmas dinner for a local Adopt-A-Family program in the black community next door, so to speak. Those are all a nice start, but I feel like our family is so overwhelmingly fortunate compared with so many others, that I want to increase our involvement even more throughout this next year. I feel a genuine pull to spread the wealth to whatever small degree we're able, and I'd also really appreciate an opportunity for my daughter to get involved with these kinds of activities so that she can also develop more insight into how fortunate we are. I know that she's mostly unaware of this fact, but I don't want her to grow up permanently unaware of it. Tags: personal
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Musical group "The Modern Men" performed selections from their recently-recorded CD in Halifax tonight. I was first turned onto the group by its lone female member, vocalist Lulu Healy. She sent me some unmixed tracks from the aforementioned CD which really blew me away, so I had to come out and see the group play live. Their music is very modern, and heavily synth-laden (in a good way). Extensive use is made of vintage analog synthesizer sounds, MIDI-controlled patches and triggers, and the Vocoder sound processor which overlays a synthesizer patch on a human singing voice. The Vocoder is a production effect first mastered by artists and synth pioneers such as Herbie Hancock in the 1970s. It provides a tremendously warm, vintage character to any song to which it's added. The repertoire sounds original, while retaining a recognizable position in the contemporary/pop idiom. The songs were comprised of simple, singable melodies nestled in rich arrangements and orchestrations using multiple synths, voices, and instruments. The bassist and the drummer were solid musicians, and the group's sound was firmly rooted in groove of the bass and the drums. It would be remiss not to make mention of the declining state of this venue, however. Hell's Kitchen sits downstairs from The Marquee Club, which is one of Halifax's premiere music venues for club acts up to around 750 people. Its location at the base of Halifax's North End makes it central, yet gritty. And its owner, local restauranteur, entrepreneur and erstwhile mayoralty candidate Victor Syperek, has recently filed for creditor protection in the courts. Apparently The Marquee Club will be closed permanently in Jan 2009. You'd definitely know it when you see the place, too. Several areas are closed off, curtained off, and not staffed. Bar staff in general is at a bare minimum, along with security and door staff. The heating was conspicuously turned off, despite the extremely low temperature outside. And the kitchen, renowned for its excellent pizza, was shuttered and dark for the whole night. It was not unlike walking through a ghost town, of sorts. This disheveled state of affairs at The Marquee Club also extended to its smaller, country-cousin downstairs venue, Hell's Kitchen. Hell's low ceilings were as gloomy as ever, and the amateur sound technician on loan from upstairs was functionally unable to create a suitable monitor mix for the band even after two and a half hours of sound check. To the seasoned listener, certain hiccups, delays, and sloppy endings were audible at times. But I don't doubt that these would have been reduced by at least half, had the musicians been able to hear each other properly. It's difficult to know what's in store for The Marquee Club, or what venues will remain for that size of show in the future. I imagine that Robert Risley will be trying to get certain groups to book in at his Cunard Centre, but unfortunately that venue isn't appropriate for every type of act that routinely appears at The Marquee. Hopefully other venues will step up to fill the void, or that somebody else with additional funds will be willing to help run The Marquee Club under a new mantle of some sort. Perhaps some sort of local cultural collective or something? Somebody should invite Victor Syperek to lunch sometime to discuss it. (News item: Marquee Club set to close) Tags: music
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