lookingup

Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer


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lookingup

simplest questions; fundamental understanding

This interview with Ramesh has had me thinking hard ever since I read it. Unlike the interviewer, I find tremendous peace in the knowledge that the totality of our existence is the will of God, and that our apparent mind-body organisms don't necessarily have individual will power of their own in this life. (That is, in our own minds, we may appear to have individual self-motivation, but that appearance is illusory, imagined by our very minds to begin with.)

So then again, this discussion recalls for me my perennial question of how to integrate these profound nondual gleanings into our daily lives in the relative world, and the question returns once again to the notion of acceptance: acceptance of who we are, wherever we are, at this and every other moment. I've been asking myself, "Where am I right now? Who am I right now, at the most fundamental level? What is my most natural leaning [in the relative world], and am I living cleanly in the moment without discolouring my relative experience unduly with distortions of my own mind?"

These aren't super profound questions or anything, but they certainly set the context for my apparent day-to-day existence. These are the questions that keep me going every day, ultimately reduced to the core question, "Who am I?" Whatever motivates this questioning in me is the same fundamental energy that motivates me to get out of bed each day -- it's just how Awareness and Being are manifest through the colour of this personal mind-body.

I guess I'm just reiterating something I think I've said recently, which is that my path is clearly here, asking these questions about the spiritual path, enlightenment, and mindfulness. This is another way to say that I am where I am, and that I am where I'm supposed to be, and that I accept what's happening and whatever will happen as what it's supposed to be: just what it is.

If that means anything...

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fireceremony November 2nd, 2002

>I find tremendous peace in the knowledge that the totality of our existence is the will of God, and that our apparent mind-body organisms don't necessarily have individual will power of their own in this life.

I know what you mean. Most ppl find that notion deeply disturbing, as if it turns them into unfeeling robots. I'll admit I find it deeply relieving. We're legally responsible for what we do, of course, but human control and ability can only go so far.

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