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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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Fri 2 Feb - late night

Interesting week. Went by fairly quickly. As usual, not many events of note. On own self-observation, found little difference in awareness from one day to the next. Not convinced that I'm not just feeling a bit numb, although I can't discount the similarity in feeling between numbness and no-thingness. This awareness can sometimes take on a certain numb-y quality, somehow. At least insofar as it's not at all stimulating in a sensory or intellectual way.

My urge to write has ebbed this week for a simple and recurring reason: there is nothing of much interest to report on the general everday nature of awareness. Admittedly, there is a certain "constancy" to the moment that seems to be constantly recreating itself (or is it sustaining? or expanding? Or... is it none of those, but rather something else entirely?) But that constancy is just that - constant - and when your awareness is trained on that constancy, things start to stand out from one another less and less. That's not at all a bad feeling, though. To me, it actually feels quite liberating to see through that structure.

I've heard it called "suchness" before, this "state." I think is meant in some way to refer to the inherent reality of the subject. The notion of abidance also has something to do with this. Simply abiding in the energy generated by this intelligence? Abiding in awareness of suchness? Just letting it Be, There, Not This-Not That?

Christ, I don't know who's doing the talking right now. I don't recognize the words as my own. Is that even possible? Can you speak words that are purely created, not repeated, from within yourSelf? If you can actually utter a phrase or a word in a manner not ever used before you first said it yourself, are those words the unfettered, unblemished truth? Is a creative expression of totally new origin a direct expression of truth, or is it even possible to create even one purely creative, new, unthought thought? What is the first thought? What is the last thought? Is there really a thought at all that can be expressed in this way? Does it simply not "add up" like that?

And of course the same question returns: who is thinking this thought?

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we are...

multifacetsflux February 4th, 2001
don't be attached to the who, what, when, why and where that is where science fails... be detached and be here now completely.. most of the things we explain are beyond comprehension.. we are all thinking the thoughts together in the collective mind....which is unconscious.. revel in it.. it is where we are all going to be, when we are in the right mind *smile*

fewtch February 5th, 2001
(or is it even possible to create even one purely creative, new, unthought thought?)

No. Thought is based solely in memory. Thought is a function of memory. No originality is possible for thought, and 'nobody' thinks, thought arises. Sounds depressing to thought, doesn't it?

When thought grows tired of itself and shuts up, something else entirely, new, fresh and original is there that has nothing to do with thought. No words can describe 'it' because words are always and only related to thought.

Who is the Inner Self

lakshmi February 8th, 2001
The Witness, The Inner Self, The Atman....observe - observe - observe. Who exactly is IT who even CARES who is talking? I'll tell you who cares...The EGO cares and the ego sometimes has ISSUES with the witness cause the witness completely BUSTS the ego. So rather than letting your ego control the conversation and getting into an angst about exactly who is who.... just dig on the WITNESS...observe - observe - observe - ALL is a Play of Conciousness only.

Re: Who is the Inner Self

iamom February 13th, 2001
Duly acknowledged... well-expressed on your part.


(Anonymous) February 10th, 2001
Hi there,
you might like to check out www.advaita.org
there is also a chatroom there.

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