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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer


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suntrees

trying

I have a certain yearning to describe my current state, but I find it so difficult to do so. This state experienced by my physical bodymind is one which I've aspired to for as long as I've considered myself part of a spiritual quest. It's like everything and nothing is happening at the same time; everything I see, I see completely, through and through. Anything and everything that falls on these senses does so in such a manner as to reveal its own nature as utterly indistinct from myself and the whole of the entire universe.

When I sit down to write about it, I cheat it of its true significance by assigning words and concepts to the apparent experience "I'm having." But truth be told, anything which I appear to feel about this is exactly that -- an appearance of experience -- and it does nothing but reveal the fact that nothing at all is happening beneath the experience. There is nothing, from which springs the apparent momentary experience, and then there is nothing, to which every moment returns. Ultimately, all is nothing.

One could discuss the ramifications of this insight in one's daily life, but such a discussion doesn't change the insight or its meaning; such discussion only perpetuates the creation of more words and concepts which do little to clarify or reveal it further.

All that happens is nothing: this continual unfolding of indistinct moments, one after the other. I skip across the surface of these watery moments with no effort, complete ease, and utter peace. Time has lost its meaning other than when it's needed as a reference point for specific physical experiences; other than these, there is no quest and no conflict -- only Being.

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lihuahou February 5th, 2003
I understand. There really is no need to explain.

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