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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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You might be from Montreal if...

1. You think of Ottawa as the midwest.
2. You think it's your God-given right to run down pedestrians when you turn right on a yellow.
3. You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no T's).
4. You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
5. All your pets are named after former Habs greats.
6. You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."
7. Just hearing the word "Toronto" puts you in an angry mood.
8. You don't think you have an attitude.
9. You always take a quick left as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.
10. Everything in town - at least everything you care about - is a seven dollar cab ride away.
11. When out of town, you think the locals from the area are all hopelessly provincial. Including when you go to another big city.
12. You still can't bear to watch highlights from game 7 of the 1981 LCS, or to think about the strike in 94.
13. You have no idea how to spell the word compromise, let alone what it means.
14. You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
15. You don't realize that you drive twice as fast as everyone else.
16. You're self-indulgent, extravagant, jaded and pessimistic.
17. You think if someone is nice to you, they must be looking for a vote. Or spare change.
18. C'est quoi un adjective?
19. You think the ocean starts near Miami.
20. You think Trudeau AND Parizeau are misunderstood.
21. You don't give a shit who stole Brother André's heart.
22. You haven't been carded since age 14, anywhere.
23. You only eat steamés at the Keg during a Habs game with moutarde and coleslaw.
24. You think that if someone doesn't go out after work they must be hopelessly square, or ill.

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ex_boots717 May 8th, 2003

man, OTTAWA is a podunk little town situated between Lima Ohio and Findlay Ohio. Find it on a map. Look for Putnam County. I lived there between 3 yrs old and 10.

ex_boots717 May 8th, 2003
i should mention: THAT is the MIDWEST.

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