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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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a better way to judge the 2004 election results

It seems the 2004 election was so close  the Electoral College vote was tied, and Congress couldn't break the deadlock.

The Supreme Court decided they'd better not make the decision themselves. They sent Bush and Kerry to a frozen lake in northern Wisconsin to have an ice fishing contest. No one was allowed to accompany them, and they were on their honor to let the guy who caught the most fish in five days become president.

On the first day they went out in different directions. Kerry came back with ten fish. Bush caught none.

On the second day, Kerry caught twenty fish and again Bush came back empty handed.

When Kerry brought back 25 fish on day three and Bush still hadn't caught any, Bush got worried and telephoned Cheney for advice.

"He's probably cheating," suggested the VP.

"I hadn't thought of that," said Bush "You're probably right. What do we do?"

Cheney suggested  instead of fishing the next day, Bush follow Kerry to see what he was doing. At the end of day 4, Bush called Cheney up and told him, "You were right, Dick, the bastard is cheating."

"What's he doing?" asked Cheney.

"He's cutting holes in the ice!"