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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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Worse than I thought

Just got off the phone with my boss. Finally got the low-down on his illness. His cancer, which in his denial he refers to only as "a really bad cold with 6 letters," started in his lungs (long-time smoker) and has metastasized to 5 different locations in his spine in addition to his liver. It's all over the place inside him. My wife, a doctor, doesn't think he would survive for much longer than 4-6 months at the outside with that many mets.

I'm at a bit of a loss for words, for once. That poor man is in complete denial about it and told me that he'd be fine, he just wouldn't be on the front lines with me anymore. He actually said that he'd finally be able to provide me with better executive support, because he'll be able to just be a VP of Sales now instead of a salesman in the trenches as well.

Peace be with you. I hope he opens his eyes soon enough to spend his time doing something more fun than this job. My heart really goes out to him. Nobody owes anything to their company at this stage. At this stage, it's time to announce an early retirement and make peace with the world.

But if he does end up staying, I hope he enjoys himself. Maybe I can help him play the game a bit by keeping up some regular "meeting-style" conversations with him. I know what his favourite kinds of business meetings are like; I could play-act as many of those as he could handle to make him feel involved with the operation down here. But in any event, I don't imagine that the company will let him keep up this façade for too much longer if he really is this sick. Which he certainly appears to be.

Go tell everyone you love them - you never know what's going to happen next week. And if you're one of the ones who's still smoking regularly...


Hari OM, brothers and sisters. Much love to you all.

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jaipur May 14th, 2001

He probably doesn't know how to do anything else besides work. I think your idea of helping him play the game might be a good way to transition him from working, into not working, without having him totally break down. I imagine breaking down and completely losing it is a strong temptation, when given a diagnosis like the one he's been given.

Will be praying for peace for him, his family, and you...

Re: ouch

iamom May 14th, 2001
Thanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated.

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