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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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You might be a redneck if...

This is an old joke, but I've never seen any of these before...

--Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

--Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

--You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

--You have a relative living in your garage.

--Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

--There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

--You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

--None of the tires on your van are the same size.

--You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

--Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.

--Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

--Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

--Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

--You've slow danced in the Waffle House.

--Starting your car involves popping the hood.

--Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

--You whistle at women in church.

--You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

--You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale.

--You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back.

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starskin April 6th, 2005
Well, two of those are true for my family and me. Of cours, we fit a lot of other redneck criteria....but then again, we're rednecks.

..Hey...!...Watch it, Junior...!...

seekerofsages April 6th, 2005
Some of these are vintage hippie-isms from the 60's!

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