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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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another Canadian political joke

For those outside of Canada or not otherwise in the know, things are heating up in the opposition parties' thrust to take down Canada's Liberal minority government. After less than a year in office and a decade of majority rule under the former leader Jean Chrétien, it's widely expected that Paul Martin's Liberals will topple under a vote of non-confidence in the Canadian parliament next week. In that light, the following joke made me laugh a bit when I read it -- I wonder if it would reach Stephen Harper if I e-mailed it to him.
Stephen Harper, head of the official opposition Conservative Party of Canada, was on an unofficial campaign stop in Vancouver. He walked into a curio shop in Chinatown, and while looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking he decided he simply had to have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the bronze rat?"

The old shopkeeper exclaimed, "Ah, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100 for the story."

Harper quickly pulled out twelve dollars.  "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story." As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, Harper noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster. A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his surprise that the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing. Sweating now, he began to trot towards the river. Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around to discover to his horror that the rats now numbered in the millions, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Terrified, he ran to the edge of the river and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into its depths. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the river after the bronze rat, and all were drowned.

Harper immediately returned to the curio shop in Chinatown. "Ahhh," said the owner, "You have come back for story?"

"No sir," he replied. "I came back to see if you have a bronze statue of a Liberal."