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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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Merry F---ing Christmas, by South Park's Mr. Garrison

Okay, fair warning. These lyrics, when taken out of context, are offensive as hell. But if you take into account the creators of South Park and their ideals, then you know that this is satire directed against fundamentalist, right-wing Christians and the like. And then it's funny. Especially the way Mr. Garrison pronounces Muhammad (moo-HOMM-ad) and he calls Hindus Hinduists.

Mr. Garrison - Merry F---ing Christmas (2 MB MP3 file)

The lyrics ensue:
I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus they have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday
And so every December I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there, Mister Muslim, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
Put down that book the Koran and hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fuckin' celebrate

There is no holiday season in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings (and that is just absurd)
They've never read a Christmas story they don't know what Rudolph is all about
And that is why in December I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there, Mister Hinduist, Merry fuckin' Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef and pass it to the missus
In case you haven't noticed, it's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fuckin' celebrate

Now I've heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods (and put needles in their skin)
On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan and walk around and pray...

Hey there, Mister Shintoist, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic, pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
So let's all rejoice for Jesus and Mary, Fuckin' Christmas, to you
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