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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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Top 100 April Fool's Jokes of All Time

From this prodigious post on Bloggers Blog listing a huge number of April Fools-related spoofs this year, I browsed through the first half of The Museum of Hoaxes Top 100 April Fool's Jokes of All Time, and culled my following favourites:
8. The Left-Handed Whopper (1998): BK announced the new menu item in which all the ingredients were rotated 180 degrees for left-handed eaters. Thousands of customers ordered the sandwich in Burger King restaurants the next day.

10. Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity (1976): A British astronomer reported on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM, the planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a phenomenon that would lessen Earth's own gravity. Listeners were told that if they jumped in the air at that precise moment, they would feel a floating sensation. Hundreds of listeners called in to report that they had indeed felt the effect.

18. The 26-Day Marathon (1981): A story about a Japanese long-distance runner who, through a translation error, thought he had to run 26 days instead of 26 miles for the London Marathon.

21. Whistling Carrots (2002): A Tesco advert in Great Britain promoted a new genetically-modified carrot with airholes on the sides that made the carrots whistle during cooking.

22. Arm the Homeless (1999): A Phoenix newspaper covered this story about a new charity formed to provide homeless people with guns and ammunition.

Drunk Driving on the Internet (1994): A PC Magazine article described a bill going through Congress that would prohibit using the internet while intoxicated.

27. Michigan Shark Experiment (1981): The story of a government sponsored, $1.3-million experiment to see if sharks could survive in cold freshwater lakes in Michigan. Two thousand sharks of various types were to be released into 3 northern MI lakes.

33. An Interview with President Carter (2001): I like this one because it involves our CBC's Michael Enright, who spoofed an interview with Jimmy Carter on softwood lumber which degenerated into insults between them. My favourite excerpt was: Enright: How did a washed-up peanut farmer from Hicksville such as yourself get involved in such a sophisticated bilateral trade argument? Carter: Excuse me? A washed-up peanut farmer? You're one to talk, sir. Didn't you used to be on the air five times a week?

40: Internet Spring Cleaning (1997): An e-mail announcement that the internet would be shut down for 24 hours to clean out the electronic flotsam and jetsam in the form of dead e-mail, ftp, www, and gopher sites. This was an update to an old joke about the telephone network being shut down for cleaning, when people were told to place plastic bags over their phone receivers to catch the dust that might be blown out of the lines during the cleaning period.

46. Hong Kong Powdered Water (1982): The story of three incredible new techniques to address Hong Kong's fresh water shortages: (1) drain clouds of their water by electrifying them; (2) attract new clouds by means of a weather satellite over India; and (3) import packets of powdered water from China, which, when combined with one pint of regular water, would instantly transform into ten pints of water.
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