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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer


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lookingup

like sands through the hourglass...

Any Days fans out there?

Today is my birthday! We have some friends visiting from away, and they brought me Egg McMuffins and coffee to my bed this morning. We all had a little breakfast picnic party on our bed with them, B and the dogs. It was very cozy. Many jokes were made about group sex. P, the boy in the couple who visited, is always making jokes about couple swapping, where he and I would get together, and our wives would get together. It's all very funny. It'd be cool to see our wives together (!) but not me and him. :)

It's a beautiful day outside so I won't spend much of it in front of the computer. I'm going golfing with my dad later though, and the last time I picked up a club was when he last came to visit us three years ago. I have a funny feeling I'm going to suck royally this afternoon. I'll have to really concentrate. And pray, or something. I really like golf, but I've lost whatever innate talent I had at it as a kid.

No prezzies yet, but B is throwing a barbecue party for me tonight. Funny, this birthday thing. It should come as no surprise that the day itself feels no different from any other, but it does make me feel a bit nostalgic to think about how excited I used to get as a kid on my birthday. I can't quite figure out what we're supposed to be celebrating today. My actual birth? Insignificant, that. I guess not to the people who love me though, so maybe this day is actually for them. Oh, and also for Michael J. Fox - I'm pretty sure it's his birthday today, too.

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vyoma June 9th, 2001
Happy Birthday!


I hear you on how you feel about birthdays. I always think about it as the anniversary of when I got another chance to reach mukti. Birth as a human is said to be a sign of divine grace because it is the easiest step away from achieving that goal. So, if nothing else, think of it as the anniversary of the bestowing of a great gift on you. Bhairava has already given you your present!

I hope you get good ones from your friends and family, too. Enjoy!

iamom June 9th, 2001
Thanks for your good wishes! Well-said on the anniversary celebration, too. That's a fine way to look at it.

jaipur June 9th, 2001

Hey, best wishes for a wonderful birthday!! Sounds like it started fantastic-ly, I hope it continues!

Happy Birthday

kundalinidreams June 9th, 2001

:-) Happy birthday and good luck with the golf game.

If you tried the girlfriend swapping, who knows, maybe you'd like it (joke). :-)


-J.

iamom June 11th, 2001
Not a bad observation. P's wife is lovely, but so is mine. However, while I sometimes enjoy a joke about it, I don't see myself ending up trying that one out. More parties would have to be interested than would be, anyway! Isn't that often the way anyway? :)

What a funny conversation this is becoming. Are you involved in a relationship right now yourself? What are you looking for, or not, in either case?

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kundalinidreams June 14th, 2001
I didn't realise you were married until I read your most previous entries. :-) Polyamory really isn't everyone's tastes. To tell you the truth I don't believe in it, but it could work for a while, for some people.

I'm not in a relationship because I have a feeling I would be taking more time and effort than I'd want to be taking up for someone else. I can't see myself in a relationship either, even if it had been practically possible (which isn't the case). If i were, I'd be looking for someone who could at least have an inkling about what I'm talking about and someone who could stand the energy as it is. It would be impossible to be in a close relationship and at the same time censor ideas about spirituality or the energy process (which I'm doing with everyone else) and have these go unaccepted.

Some lifestyles aren't too compatible with a long term relationship, or at least they'd demand a lot of effort and patience. It's too bad if the longing for a life partner goes unfulfilled because of an interruption in lifestyle or health, but I do not see myself as unfulfilled in that respect. :-)

And yourself?

-J.


iamom June 15th, 2001
My mom is a really good yoga teacher, and she has some interesting things to say about why it's important for people on spiritual paths to be involved in relationships. I think she's correct in identifying the important lessons about ego and compassion you can learn in the context of a committed love relationship.

Having said that, if you're the kind of person who is really living their life in a spiritually absorbed way, there just might not be room (or inclination) for a relationship like that. I think that's fine, too. Totally natural, really. If you don't find yourself staring a relationship in the face, you're probably not meant to be in one.

You're right about relationships demanding a lot of effort and patience, too. That's really a part of the practice of living. Without my relationship, I would find it too easy to slip into a torpor of nothingness and just basically stop acting. The relationship helps to keep me grounded, and remember what it is to be human. Sometimes it's easy to lose track of that fact. That fact that we're still human beings, here on this plane, living this life.

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kundalinidreams June 17th, 2001
You and your mother has a good point. There is still a life to be lived with all its trials and joys and little "lessons" and that is good. :-)

-J.

iamom June 17th, 2001
Heh - yeah, but we both know how far that can go, don't we? Only so far, right?

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kundalinidreams June 24th, 2001
Yes, there is a limit to how many lessons can actually be learned and how well these will stick. I find it close to impossible to force the mind to think the right things. It's better to keep the mind relaxed and receptive to itself.

-J.

iamom June 15th, 2001
By the way, what is making is practically impossible for you to have a relationship?

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kundalinidreams June 17th, 2001
I don't go outside much and I'm usually not sociable at all, I'm mostly quite asocial. Being a (voluntary) recluse and preferring to stay away from the modern rushed lifestyle out of wish and health reasons would be difficult to combine with the dreams and ambitions of a person still "in the world" and not interested in leading a quiet life, which is true for most people. Maybe the biggest practical reason is simply myself. I can't say I feel I currently need a lover or partner or would be looking for one.

-J.


whipsmart June 9th, 2001
guten geburtstag...

fey June 10th, 2001
Happy birthday, Iamom!

You are the best. I hope your day was fab-u-lous!

~~S

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