lookingup

Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer


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lookingup

musings about death

I'm reading a book by Dave Eggers called A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, and it begins around the time that his mother is dying from cancer. As I read about his family standing around his mother's deathbed, I started thinking about who might be standing around my deathbed when the time comes. If I enjoy the nostalgic feelings now, imagine what I'll be like then. I'll ask B if she remembers this, that, and the other thing, and we'll all recount our favourite stories about such-and-such and so-and-so. I'll die smiling, with love in my eyes for all those who are there. People will be crying, but there will be lots of laughter between the tears, too.

I'll take a stab in the dark and say that this day will occur sometime in the middle of this century - around 2050 - and it shall also take place in the spring. Most fitting time to be reborn, I figure. I don't want to die in a hospital if I can help it, either. I'd rather die at home with family and friends present, instead.

Of course, I could also die in a car crash next week, but I don't really think that's gonna happen. I don't see that on my immediate horizon at all.

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gwen42 June 14th, 2001
someone's been checking out my reading list...

i love his writing. for some reason though i can't seem to finish the book. been reading it for a long time. i just read another one that was really fantastic. need to add it to my reading list. going to do that now..

iamom June 14th, 2001
I can't usually finish any books anymore. I read them about halfway through, and then totally lose interest. Even in the good ones. I did, however, just read the first three Harry Potter books, which probably tells you how high-minded my thinking is these days...

iamom June 15th, 2001
Now I'm about 50 pages into this, and I can pretty much tell that I'm not going to be able to finish it. I think this boy is gonna ramble like crazy, and I need books to be more concise to me than that right now.

Thanks for that very nice message last night, btw.

gwen42 June 16th, 2001
i'm glad you enjoyed the message :)

iamom June 16th, 2001
I did, thanks, and last night's even more. What's with all these sweet messages you keep leaving me? You're going to make me blush, sweetie.

gwen42 June 16th, 2001
last night?
fuck.
i thought i didn't leave you one last night.
i thought i remembered everything i did yesterday..

oh wait... is coming back to me now..
although i can't remember what i said.

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