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Dustin LindenSmith

father | musician | writer

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delete bush?

two really great jokes

A West Virginia farmer got in his pickup, drove to a neighbouring farm, and knocked at the door. A young boy about 9 years old opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' the farmer asked.

'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'

'Well,' said the farmer, 'is yer Mom here?'

'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'

'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'

'He went with Mom and Dad too.'

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'

'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your Brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, Pregnant.'

The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about that' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know
how much he gets fer Howard.'

A little boy was awakened in the night to the sound of shrieks from his parents' bedroom. When he opened his parents' door to investigate, he found his dad wearing only a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, his mom wearing a cheerleader costume, and both of them having a great old time.

"What are you doing?!" the boy cried out.

"Oh nothing, buddy," gasped his dad. "Your mom and I are just having some fun. You just go back to your room and I'll be along in a minute."

The boy left, and 20 minutes later, considerably spent, the dad finally left his bedroom and headed towards his son's room. As he approached, he heard shrieks from the boy's room. When he opened the door, he found his son in bed with his grandma.

"What are you doing?!" the dad cried out.

The boy replied, "Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"